Saturday, April 11, 2009

ACCOMPLISHED

Here's the whole story, minus some parts I don't remember.
I walk into my parents room, my dad is snoring and my mom is rustling in the bed.
I tell my mom that she's going to get mad at me for what I was going to say.
I say that I'm not sure if I am able to get all my hours done for confirmation.
She says "Oh, you're not even sure yet, why?"
I say "But, I don't want to be confirmed."
Her "A WHAAAA. Why?"
I tell her I'm not catholic.
She starts waking up my dad.
My dad asks me why I'm being like this.
I say that I'm a christian and that it was my choice.
My mom laughs and says "someone told you to say that, I knew that bible study was no good, I thought it was catholic"
I told her that it wasn't a catholic bible study in the very beginning and she never asked me if it was a catholic bible study, she asked me if my catholic friends attended.
My dad asks me what makes me think I'm not catholic.
I tell him that I don't believe in some of the things the catholic church does.
He asks "like what?"
I say "Like praying to Mary."

My dad laughs and says "See, Protestants always use that. See, the way you are talking to us right now; you are a stubborn girl. They have 'molded' you. They've convinced you. This is not acceptable. You see, your brother and sister are not close to God, they do not attend church, But right now I don't know if I love you more than your sister or brother. To me, they seem more presentable"

That there, struck my heart. What they obviously meant was that they don't love me as much as my brother and sister.

My dad keeps talking and my mom lays there and keeps saying "Yeah, that's right." over and over and over again.

I would want to speak, but every time I did, my dad would say I'm being stubborn and molded.

He goes on to lecture me "The catholic church was founded by Christ, and all those other religions out there, they have been broken away from the catholic church just because of something that they don't believe in. In the catholic church, Jesus is the leader, but in the protestant church, the leaders are humans. They only limit their mind to the bible. Catholics have the bible and traditions. Protestants have hatred towards other religions, but mostly catholicism because that is largest religion. There are billions of catholics, but there are only one or two million protestants. On the news, there have been people who were from the 'broke away' religions and they started to come to catholicism. You know, I went to other 'congregrations' (other churches) to see what it was like. I was about to walk out of a church service because they called catholics 'bastards'. I was also almost convinced by your tito piping who is christian that we respect very much, but I saw that he was showing me differences, which showed hatred."

I was thinking.. that my dad was being a hypocrite because the way he was talking about protestants shows that he is showing hatred towards them, yet says that catholics respect other religions.

He keeps talking for an hour mostly just repeating himself and says that this is upsetting news, bad news, and he can't sleep now. Before I leave the room, they say bible study has to stop, and that I 'have' to get my hours done and that I will get confirmed.

In confirmation, we don't learn anything at all. And when we did try learning, it was of tradtion and about ourselves, about raising self esteem and such. They told us that if you don't want to be here, we don't have to be confirmed because that should be your choice, not your parents choice.

I feel I have to go back to hiding what I have always been hiding all over again. Now, the only good time to tell my parents again is 18. -_______- I can't call myself catholic if I don't believe in some of the things that the catholic church does.

I PRAISE GOD FOR GIVING ME THE COURAGE TO SPEAK TO MY PARENTS.
even though, I can't go anymore, I will continue to grow stronger in my faith, because it is Christ that ultimately matters. It is Him who should come first.
Jesus said to him, "I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. -John 14:6

9 comments:

Michelle said...

you courageous girl.
i must admit your parents are rather shallow. :(

Unknown said...

Proud of you for standing up for what you believe, it is tough, but you'll get through it. James 1:2-4. Aren't you happy that Jesus rose on that the third day?

Julian Leong said...

Joanna I'm so proud of you! God has worked so mightily in your life.

What a keen ear you have, Joanna, clearly seeing the hypocrisy in your Father's words. It's a tragic thing to hear your parents base their love on actions you perform. Let's rejoice in knowing we have a God who doesn't measure His love for us by that same standard, but unconditionally loves us, because that's who He is.

While I'm sure you are struggling, your blog shows how mature you've become. You are not cursing God or cursing your parents, you're still rejoicing! Only a wise woman for Christ can look like such a fool (by worldly standards)! I can't even iterate to you what a blessing this post is, and how proud of you I am. Continue to strive for Him and we will still be behind you!

email me: ian.not.julian@gmail.com keep me updated on your status and any questions you have along this new path in your journey.

Aarika Leigh said...

Hey joanna,

I praise God for you so much. Your courage to talk to your parents is admirable and the fact that you have given the glory of that courage to God is even more of a blessing.

I know that it must be hard, especially with the prospect of not being able to come to bible study anymore but just know that I am praying for you and that you can always email me and you can always call me if you need anything.

Praise God that he has given you the strength through all of this and just know that He would never have you experience anything that he wasn't sure you could overcome.

In 2nd Timothy Paul writes to Timothy

"(8) So do not be ashamed to testify about our Lord, or ashamed of me his prisoner. But join with me in suffering for the gospel, by the power of God, (9) who has saved us and called us to a holy life—not because of anything we have done but because of his own purpose and grace. This grace was given us in Christ Jesus before the beginning of time," 2nd Timothy 1:8-9

Continue to fan that fire Joanna and know that He is forever sustaining.

LOVE YOU!
-ate aarika

Rachel Jean said...

wow you did it! :]
you know the way your dad reacted and responded was like how my dad responded. although not as harsh and didn't really give a long lecture. because my dad hardly goes to mass... ever. i know what you're going through. i was kind of made fun of when my dad and step mom found out i was born again christian.

well you fulfilled your new year's resolution. PTL! i'll be praying for you for the next time you tell them. don't worry i'm sure your parents will respect you and your beliefs better. it's all in God's hands and in His timing.

harithefup said...

wow joanna.. you did it! sry i didn't comment on this sooner, i haven't been on in a while, but dang man.. im really proud of you. remember that tradition and religion is not what God asks for. what He wants is a real and genuine relationship with you, and He loves you unconditionally no matter what you do. if God is for you, then who can be against you? and remember to not be bitter against your parents, no matter what they say to you, and continue to show unconditional love to them :D.

Hazel said...

hi joanna! what an amazing story! praise God for your growth in grace and wisdom. you are an encouragement! i'm praying for you!

helen said...

JOANNA! you have no idea how much God has used you to encourage me with this situation of yours. God has grown you SO much, and it is definitely evident in this trial. i asked kristine to give me the play by play on sunday cause i was sooo amazed at God's goodness in your guys' circumstances in standing up for Christ with your parents....i know how terrifying it can be, because i went through similar instances with my parents.

I praise God for your courage, strength, patience, and discernment. it shows a lot of maturity and that you're growing more and more in Christlikeness. I praise God He's kept you grounded in the truth of His word, and that you're not being swayed by tradition, or anything else that does not adhere to His truth as it is laid out in the Bible.

praise God that God has given you this situation, because He knows you can handle it, and that it is for your perserverance and joy in your race of endurance towards Jesus Christ. please know that we are ALL so blessed by you and that we're praying for you. just because you can't come to bible study anymore does not mean we are less of a family. we are all part of the body of believers and we bear each other's burdens and share each other's joys. i'm so thankful you're rejoicing in the midst of this. God says that if we are faithful to him, our reward is in heaven.

"In this you rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials, so that the tested genuineness of your faith—more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire—may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ. Though you have not seen him, you love him. Though you do not now see him, you believe in him and rejoice with joy that is inexpressible and filled with glory, obtaining the outcome of your faith, the salvation of your souls." 1 peter 1:6-9

praise God you accomplished one of your new year's resolutions!! and i think God has answered a prayer request to be patient, no?

GOD IS SO GOOD in all things!! ROMANS 8:28

remember that because God loved us first and gave us christ, how will be not also with him graciously give us all things? ROMANS 8:32

I LOVE YOU, JOANNA!!!!!

email me at helenwong08@gmail.com or call me anytime!

Dr. BreadClock said...

I praise God for you and this! I think of future people who will read this and be encouraged by you and how you took a stand!